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| Howard is caught in a compromising position with Beverly (Lea Thomson). Try not to think too hard about it. |
Release Date: Aug. 1, 1986. Running Time: 111 minutes. Screenplay: Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz. Based on the Marvel Comic character by Steve Gerber. Producer: Gloria Katz. Director: Willard Huyck.
THE PLOT:
Howard (voice of Chip Zien) is a typical product of the mid-1980s. He works in advertising, though he'd rather be doing something else. He lives in a comfortable middle-class apartment, where at the end of the day he settles into his armchair and channel surfs the television while smoking cigars.
He is also a duck, on a planet of sentient ducks. But his circumstances are about to change.
As he sits in his armchair, ogling the centerfold of the latest issue of Playduck, he is seized by a strange force that propels him first out of his building (and through several walls) before launching him into outer space... transporting him to Earth. Specifically, Cleveland.
Howard's first inclination is to hide from the strange, ape-like locals. Then Beverly (Lea Thompson), a young would-be singer, is assaulted near his hiding place. Howard rescues her; and once she gets over her shock at meeting a talking duck in a business suit, she agrees to help him. She introduces him to Phil (Tim Robbins), a laboratory assistant, who in turn brings him to Dr. Jenning (Jeffrey Jones) - the scientist whose laser accidentally brought Howard to Earth.
Jenning agrees to send Howard back. However, the attempt goes badly wrong. Instead of connecting with Duckworld, his laser finds a region of space inhabited by demons - one of whom seizes control of Jenning's body. Now the possessed Jenning is preparing to fire up the laser yet again to bring more demons to Earth, kidnapping Beverly to use as a host for the next arrival.
Now it's up to Howard and Phil to rescue the girl, stop the bad guy, and save the world... If they can survive the start of duck hunting season!
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| Phil (Tim Robbins) enthuses over duck evolution. Howard and Beverly are not impressed. |
CHARACTERS:
Howard: Howard makes for a poor hero. He's insufferable for the movie's first half, sneering at the "hairless apes" when he isn't whining about his lot in life or leering at Beverly. Then he transforms into an action hero for the second half. A really dull, ineffectual action hero. The puppeteers and performers were among those targeted by the Razzies... which is frankly an outrage. Howard looks perfectly fine by the standards of the day, and the performers and puppeteers perform their jobs expertly. They succeed in making Howard feel real; it's on the script that this grumpy duck fails to be someone we actually want to spend time with.
Beverly: Lea Thompson was fresh off the success of Back to the Future, a movie in which she was funny, charming, and extremely appealing. In Howard the Duck, she shows exactly none of these qualities. Beverly mostly comes across as an imbecile. When the possessed Dr. Jenning starts talking about the end of the world, her response is to roll her eyes and laugh. This occurs after she has already: (a) encountered a sentient, talking duck from outer space; (b) confirmed that Jenning's laser brought Howard to Earth; (c) been warned by Jenning that something is inside him and transforming him; and (d) observed Jenning's voice and manner completely change in front of her eyes. Actually, Beverly rolls her eyes a lot in this movie, reacting with the same irritation to Phil's excitement at meeting Howard as she does to Jenning's proclamations of cosmic destruction. Even when Jenning kidnaps her to use her as a host for more of his kind, she reacts not with horror, but instead with the kind of mild exasperation a middle schooler might reserve for a bad substitute teacher.
Phil Blumburtt: Between this and the hideous alleged comedy Fraternity Vacation, it's a miracle that Tim Robbins' career survived the '80s. Robbins is dreadful here, indulging in wide-eyed overacting that would make Jerry Lewis jealous. He doesn't so much speak his lines as declare them, often in accompaniment with wild hand gestures. Yes, the script is bad... But the actor's performance makes it so much worse.
Dr. Jenning: Jeffrey Jones also goes over-the-top, but in his case it works. He throws himself into the possessed Jenning, altering his walk while screwing up his face and bulging out his eyes. It's silly, as is the voice he puts on, but it conveys that this is an alien being in a middle-aged man's body. He spouts one-liners during a largely comic brawl, behaving almost like a child playing... but then he behaves exactly the same way when killing a police officer and blowing up cars at a roadblock. In a better movie, this exact performance might have threaded the needle between comic and scary. As it stands, Jones is easily the best thing here, seeming to instinctively comprehend the correct tone in a way that nobody else associated with this project managed.
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| Jeffrey Jones, as the possessed Dr. Jenning, seems to grasp what the movie should be more than the people making it do. |
"SAY SOMETHING NICE":
Howard the Duck was a Lucasfilm release, and as such there is a certain professional polish. The effects aren't necessarily good; the final form of the Evil Overlord makes the Bandrils in the infamous Doctor Who story Timelash look almost respectable. But it is unmistakably a big-budget effort.
I'll spend a lot of time talking about this film's failings, because I agree that it is pretty bad. Still, it's nowhere near as bad as its reputation. This has sometimes been dubbed one of the worst movies ever made, which is utterly ridiculous. Yes, the duck puns are never funny and grow increasingly tiresome, but there are gags that hit the mark. When Howard first lands on Earth, he manages to stumble from one horrific encounter to the next, until he falls into a steel drum - and promptly pulls the lid over it to hide. After the mid-film lab accident, a police lieutenant orders Howard arrested as an "illegal alien." After Howard and Beverly escape with Jenning, not yet realizing that he's been possessed, they stop at a sushi place. When Jenning growls that the world as they know it will soon end, a waitress excitedly wonders if he's a televangelist. These are among several nuggets of genuine amusement scattered across the dross that is the rest of the movie.
"SO... EXACTLY WHAT WERE THEY ON?":
Who precisely was the target audience for this movie? A lot of the content seems geared toward teens or adults. The opening scene sees Howard settling in to enjoy the latest issue of Playduck; when he's sucked through the vortex to Earth, he smashes through numerous apartments, including one where a naked female duck, complete with breasts, is enjoying a bath. He meets Beverly when two punks are attempting to rape her. He carries a condom in his wallet. At one point, a scantily dressed Beverly jokingly (?) attempts to seduce him, which isn't at all funny but is weird on a level that makes David Lynch look like Frank Capra.
Fine, you say; it's obviously geared toward older teens and adults. The only problem: It isn't. The movie is relentlessly juvenile in tone, with much of the comedy revolving around duck puns and heavy amounts of broad slapstick. The acting style tends toward heightened emotions, with Tim Robbins channeling Jerry Lewis on a bad day, while Jeffrey Jones does all of his "possessed" dialogue in a silly voice seemingly ready-made for playground imitation.
Overall, it all plays like a comedy-adventure aimed at children, while at the same time being often inappropriate for them.
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| Howard is sucked into a vortex, from which only intergalactic duck puns can escape! |
OTHER MUSINGS:
Howard the Duck was George Lucas's infamous megabomb, the film whose failure led him to sell various assets - including the division that would later become Pixar. Over time, it's attained a certain cult status, with its defenders insisting that it was maligned and misunderstood.
Though I'm often sympathetic toward films that fall on the "weird" or even "silly" side of the spectrum, I cannot find it in myself to defend Howard the Duck. The script is a mess, the story seemingly slapped together out of whatever sounded like it might make for a decent set piece. Some of these require massive deviations from the plot: Howard argues with Beverly for no real reason, then takes a job at an adult spa for a five-minute slapstick sequence before making up with Beverly again; if all of that was removed, the only impact on the story would be to slightly help its pace. Later, the possessed Jenning, who up to this point has been desperate to get back to the lab with Beverly, decides to stop at a nuclear power plant - again, having no impact on the plot save for adding a few more unfunny jokes to the tally and extending the running time.
Finally, there are the duck puns. Co-writer/director Willard Huyck seems to believe that clunky wordplay involving ducks equals automatic hilarity. Howard's room is decorated with posters for such films as Breeders of the Lost Stork and My Little Chickadee, starring that great comedian W. C. Fowl. Howard insists he is a "master of Quack-Fu," and when he hits his limit he declares, "No more Mr. Nice Duck." All of this is just as funny as it sounds - which is to say, not at all.
THE FILMMAKING:
Willard Huyck was a bizarre choice to direct. He had only helmed three movies prior to this: Messiah of Evil, a low-budget '70s horror thriller; French Postcards, a character-based comedy/drama; and his only other major release, the profitable but rightfully derided Dudley Moore/Eddie Murphy comedy, Best Defense. None of these titles suggest that he was cut out to direct a big-budget special effects film featuring expensive action set pieces.
It's in the action scenes that it's particularly apparent that Huyck was a bad fit. The major action piece is an extended chase, in which Howard and Phil evade a police pursuit in an ultralight glider. The scene might have been suitably weird and funny in surer hands. However, despite what I'm certain was expensive stunt work, Huyck directs in TV style, with every shot interrupted by cuts back to close-ups of Tim Robbins and Howard T. Duck. No stunt is allowed to play out for more than a second or two, and it quickly becomes difficult to decipher exactly what is happening on-screen. By the time Howard is maniacally buzzing duck hunters while cackling, "Tora! Tora! Tora!," I was more than ready for the scene to end - though it would take several more minutes for me to actually get my wish.
The movie's climax occurs at the lab, with Howard facing the possessed Jenning with a handy laser that just happened to be lying around. As happens. Though more comprehensible than the ultralight chase, it's just as flat, with lots of static shots helping to make sure the already-ludicrous action develops no excitement whatsoever.
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| The ultralight chase: an action/comedy set piece that goes on far, far, far too long... |
THE OTHER NOMINEES:
Howard the Duck was the joint Worst Picture Winner for 1986, sharing the "honors" with Prince's Under the Cherry Moon. I already covered the other nominees in my review of that film: Blue City, an ill-advised attempt to graft the Brat Pack formula onto a Ross MacDonald thriller; Cobra, a Sylvester Stallone vehicle that probably acts as a fair approximation of how Beverly Hills Cop would have played had he ended up starring; and Shanghai Surprise, a Madonna flick (need more be said?).
Given that this was the year of Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive, I wonder how it was excluded from the list of nominees. I already observed that Overdrive was even more inept than Under the Cherry Moon - and it's far, far worse than Howard the Duck.
OVERALL:
Howard the Duck is a bizarre film; and even with George Lucas's involvement, I find it remarkable that a major studio signed off on it. It's an odd duck of a film, with a lot of fowl elements (I know, not funny - but no worse than the puns in the actual movie!). The first half is ridiculously slow, much of the humor doesn't work, and the acting is uneven at best.
Among Razzie winners, I would not rank this as one of the maligned or misunderstood. However, it is watchable, with a handful of amusing moments offsetting the nonstop stupidity. It's easily a better movie than its Worst Picture co-winner, Under the Cherry Moon - never mind such truly risible dreck as The Lonely Lady or Bolero.
Rating: Raspberry.
Joint Worst Picture Winner with: Under the Cherry Moon
Worst Picture: 1985 - Rambo: First Blood, Part II
Worst Picture: 1987 - Leonard, Part 6
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